Growing up in a middle-class single income household, we had what we needed but we had little extra for luxury. My mother is quite pragmatic but she did fill our home with the things that would make our lives a little bit easier and convenient. So as I matured in age, I never really saw bouquets from the flower shop in the home–only those that are grown in our garden.
With that said, I also associated the giving of flowers as extra, unnecessary expense. While I don’t hate flowers, my heart doesn’t “yearn” for them. I don’t feel bad if I don’t get them. Even during our wedding, the only flowers we had was the bouquet I was holding. My boyfriend (now my husband) has only given me flowers once–a bouquet of three white roses for our first Valentine’s. I kept prying how much it costs and when I learned the price, I told him never to do it again. So that was the first and the last. I appreciated his effort but I felt sad for the money he spent for him. And flowers or not, I know that he doesn’t love me less.
And flowers or not, I know that he doesn’t love me less.
Fast forward to today. We now have two young daughters. The eldest is almost 7 while the younger is 2 and 1/2 years old. Oddly enough (at least for me), they both adore flowers. They get giddy with excitement when they see a nice bunch.
In my mind, we can ignore the flowers thing, after all, I grew up with a sensitive, kind, gentle, and good provider father who guided and prayed for us while growing up, but didn’t really show affection through flowers. Or perhaps, it was my mother who forbade him to do it, after all, it’s “magastos.”
Why Does My Husband Give Valentine Gifts To Our Daughters
So why did we decide to give in to our daughters’ delight of receiving flowers or gifts during Valentine’s Day?
1. Social Media Influence. When my husband and I were growing up, there was no social media. Yeah, we did have magazines and we had television, but social media influence nowadays is very strong. I cringe at the sight of young girls posting about feeling bad that they don’t have boyfriends for Valentine’s–no dates, no flowers, no sweetie stuff like that. While I noticed that my daughters are not easily jealous of what others have, we just want to make sure that they lack nothing–especially in the emotional aspect.
2. Proper Example of Treatment. More than the gifts, we would like to show by example how they should be treated by suitors or boyfriends eventually. For now, because the girls are still young, Papa gave them just gifts. But eventually, we may have to orchestrate dates so that their Papa can set an example on how they should be treated during dates.
The Downside of This Gift-Giving Practice
1. Cost. No matter how cheap, there are some costs to it. The first time that we did this, Papa gave them fabric flowers that were already part of their toy collection. But well, we already bought them way before. The following year, hubby bought a dozen daisies for about P40 and he divided it between the three of us. haha But this year, since we saw this gift set from Mister Donut that included 6 pieces Belgian Bites in red box, a red heart balloon, and a stuffed bear at P160, we decided to get one set each for the girls. Of course, they were ecstatic. We may have to find something else again next year. I hope there are more promos such as this.
2. Expectation. There is a possibility that they may expect much from their future mate. So this is where guidance comes in. It is not based on the value or the size of the gift, but the thoughtfulness that counts. Hubby and I are not much into the exchanging of gifts. But we value fidelity, honesty, affection, helpfulness, thoughtfulness, and sincerity. I think these are more important than material gifts.
While we still can, we will continue to gift flowers or any cute mementos for Valentine’s Day to our kids. Papa is their first love. Papa should be the one to show them how it’s done.