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Getting Through the Heartbreak of Divorce

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There are so many legal entanglements pertaining to a divorce. However, one aspect is often neglected — the emotions. How do you get through the heartbreak of divorce?

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You were once in love. Then you became a couple. Afterwards, you got married. You are emotionally, physically, and mentally involved. It is no surprise that there is heartbreak in divorce.

When you think about divorce it’s common to think about the visible things. These include the division of property and assets, child custody, child and spousal support, attorneys, and court proceedings.

Though all of these things need to be addressed, there’s a bigger issue that is often neglected. This is the psychological impact and heartbreak of a divorce. 

The Heartbreak of Divorce

No matter the reason for the split (amicable or otherwise), a divorce is essentially the loss or death of a relationship. This relationship ties include you and your partner, your children, family, and friends. When the initial shock and adrenaline wear off, you’ll start to feel the various stages of grief. 

There are many things to be done during a divorce and those who ignore their emotions often suffer consequences.

Primarily, they stop taking care of their health and appearance. Then lash out or isolate themselves from their children. They also start performing poorly at work, and even suffering from drug or alcohol addiction. Some even need alcohol treatment California or elsewhere to get back on track. 

Getting Back on Track After Divorce

Obviously, this is not what you want for your life or your children’s lives. So, it is imperative that you learn how to get through the heartbreak of in a positive and healthy way. Below are some advice: 

Allow Yourself to Feel

One of the biggest mistakes when struggling with the heartbreak of divorce is to hold those feelings in. Negative emotions have a way of festering inside and manifesting in your life in a nasty way.

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Crying releases pent up emotions. Take time to cry. It’s part of healing after the heartbreak of divorce.

Don’t be afraid to allow yourself to feel. Take a few days off from work, ask your parents to watch the kids and check into a hotel. Go scream, cry, punch pillows, or whatever you need to do to let those emotions out. 

Surround Yourself with Love

The best way to get past a lost love is to surround yourself with stable love. Your friends and family can be great support right now. So as much as you might want to be alone, don’t push them away.

Instead, ask them to help you through this. Whether they’re just there for you to vent over the phone to or they get more involved and help out with the kids, you need them. While you tend to your own needs, it’s nice to know you have people who love you and are on your side. 

Maintain Daily Routines

You may need a short break to allow yourself to feel and accept the reality of your divorce. However, do not remain stagnant for too long. It is important to remain constructive and to keep the mind occupied.

So, as much as you can, continue with your normal routines at home and work. If the routines need to be altered as a result of the divorce, figure out what needs to be done. Then create a new normal for yourself and the family and start adapting. 

Do Something You Love

A great way to cope with the emotions of a divorce is to start digging into things that bring you peace and happiness. Think about things you’re interested in or always wanted to do and go out and try them. Not only does it take your mind off of everything that’s going on, but it helps you to boost your self-confidence and find your own identity once again. 

Write it Down

Rather than holding those overwhelming emotions in, let them out through your words. Purchase a journal and begin writing in it on a regular basis. You can write about how you’re feeling on a particular day, a thought you may have had, or jot down some goals. It would also be nice to take note of inspirational quotes and positive phrases to reinforce positive energy. 

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Men can also cry after the divorce. It’s healthy for the heart and mind.

Talk to a Therapist

If, after some time, you find that your mental health is worsening since your divorce, it is time to reach out to a professional. It is very common for people to suffer from depression after a divorce, and getting help from a therapist is recommended. They are trained to listen effectively and help you to positively cope with your emotions.

Moreover, they can coach you on thinking the right thoughts. They can also assist you in setting small goals towards improving your life and well-being. 

Going through a divorce is not easy for you or for your children. While it may seem as if you have no choice but to grin and bear it, quite the opposite is actually true. When you take the time necessary to care for your mental wellbeing, getting through after the heartbreak of divorce gets much easier.

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Loving Mama

Sigrid - Bacolod Blogger
Sigrid is a work at home mom and Bacolod blogger who tries to juggle taking care of the kids, homeschooling in Bacolod, covering events, designing, writing, and blogging. After finishing her degree in Mass Communications from the University of St. La Salle, she went on to become a news reporter/writer for a local daily and eventually pursued a career in advertising as a copywriter and graphics designer. After her stint in the corporate world, she became a freelance writer, contributing to national and international publications covering a variety of topics. She was a contributing food writer to COOK Magazine before she became a food and mommy blogger. She blogs at:
www.sigridsays.com
www.lovinglymama.info
www.mamacooks.info
www.marriagemarkers.com

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